Getting up at 4:30 a.m. today to finish some paper work, I opened my email and pleasantly found an article sent by one reader from the U.S. I find it very relevant, very substantial and well written, so I am sharing it with everyone.

Gay Marriage - to be or not to be?

by Louie Tacker

Well, with Oscar Nite upon us, and all the talk about “Brokeback Mountain”, my thoughts have turned to the hotly contested subject of gay marriage.

Let me tell you upfront I am heterosexual and a Catholic. This being said, personally, I really don’t care what two adults do with their own lives. As long as it falls within the realm of the law, and hurts no one else, it is none of my business.

Personally knowing both gay men and women, I have found them no different than any other heterosexual friends I may have, other than their sexual preference. But knowing some of them for years - in our conversations, I have concluded that this “choice” they have made is not really a choice. It is how they are, how they feel - so to say - born in them. Just as a heterosexual is drawn to the opposite sex, so are they drawn to the same sex. They care, cry, hurt, love, show joy, and feel happiness like everyone else. Many have faced many challenges growing up and not knowing why they are not like everyone else, till hopefully one day they realize this is what they are and who they are.

Gay men and women function like everyone else - work, pay taxes and in general are good citizens like most people. So I ask myself why are so many “normal” people so bitter, so scared or even angry at the site of gay couples? Now, in public, most people won’t admit that, in fear of being labeled homophobic, or you hear “they made that choice”, - well, they didn’t. Nature made that choice long before they even entered this life. True, in recent years they have enjoyed much more acceptance especially here in the U.S. and most socially advanced countries. Yet still, they get “those looks” when holding hands or sneaking a kiss in public, just like we “normal” people give that “look” to a handicapped person. Well, we try not to be obvious with our reaction, but can’t seem to help ourselves.

So now, we come to the real point of this article…. Gay Marriage - to be or not to be. Like any other hot political topic, some people have their minds made up and will never be swayed one way or the other. I myself at first said …mmmm… no way, it’s not natural. It’s against the laws of nature. One of the reasons for marriage is to have children, raise a family, something they obviously cannot do.

But after really thinking about it all, I realized what a close minded opinion I had formed over it all. Against nature? Maybe, but what about an autistic child, or a handicapped person, and so on. Surely nature did not plan for them to be born that way, but yet we help, show mercy and help them. But the gay - oh no. Why is this so? As I have pointed out earlier, it is not by choice that the gay are gay. They are no different from those born disabled or mentally challenged.

As with having children, well, they cannot have their own. But I know many unfortunate heterosexual couples who can’t either, yet they are married and stay married, some adopt, others just remain childless but lead good normal productive lives.  So, i think not being able to have children is not an issue against gay marriage.

The more I think about this, the more flexible I get toward the idea. Who am I to stand in the way of two adults in love enjoying their lives together? Sure, there are many more points that are raised - insurance, medical coverage, death benefits, wills and estates. But once again, at least in the U.S., you can will your estate to whomever you please, married or not. Then the BIG QUESTION arises - religion and the bible. Oh, boy, now it gets touchy. Well, I am a Roman Catholic, though not devout. In fact, I have lots of problems with the Church which is run by humans.. to me God and Christ are about love, forgiveness, peace and caring for your fellowmen. Oh, well, this is already getting off the topic, and I intend to just dwell on it in another write up.

So I conclude in my head about gay marriage - why not just let it be? After all, does it really hurt me or anyone else if two gay people just feel better about their commitment because of a piece of paper that the government says they are legally married? After all, we know that it takes a lot more than a marriage certificate to make a good marriage, don’t we?

I figure it out -  more love and happiness should be spread in this world of increasing violence and hate. Let us look in the mirror to see if we are so perfect to judge another, not even knowing them personally - as to tell them they cannot get married. Why, we even let convicts get married in jail! We look again in the mirror - how many of us behind closed doors, with our partners, partake with what “society” may regard as “legal but kinky” - but would be frowned on if known by others? In a world of so many real problems and issues, I just don’t see any reason to deny two people in love of sealing their bond through marriage, gay or not.

       (Note: Louie Tacker is a New York real estate broker, married with two children. He says he is a frequent visitor of this site, and wants to contribute his written thoughts on regular basis. Well, Time and Tide says - Sure! This site is open to everyone!)