I am not usually the prying type of neighbor. I maintain friendly relations with my neighbors, but not to the point where I would go “neighboring” and make “chika”. I want to leave them to their privacy in the same way that I too, want them to leave me in mine.

Much as I want to mind my own business, my next house neighbor, however, never fails to catch my attention everyday. I don’t have to go in front of their gate to get a glimpse of what is going on inside their house. But I do hear a lot - yes, “hear” - unintentionally, that is….
This neighbor is the extended family type where the parents live with their children with children. Yes, families with families. The youngest daughter, about in her late 20s, is married and has two young children, aged 5 and 3. Okay, so fellow moms out there can draw the picture of the situation: raising children in pre-school stage.

Everyday, from early morning to early evening… I hear the mother yelling, scolding, screaming… followed by little cries, screams, sobs… There was never a time when I heard the mother say “smooching” words to her children. “Walang kalambing-lambing!” (No affection at all). I never ever heard her say to her kids… anak ko.. (my child)… honey, sweetheart, darling.. or any terms of endearment that mothers usually use when talking to their children.

I noticed too, that the elder child, a boy, is becoming more and more stubborn and hard headed as he is growing older. And, to this, I would hear the young mother blurt: “Ang tigas tigas ng ulo mo! Wala ka nang ginawang magaling!” (You are so hard headed, you never did anything right!)

Oh wow! I want to send this mother to a Child Psychology class so she can learn the rudiments of child rearing. By always telling the poor child of his misdemeanor, stubbornness - and criticizing him always - the mother is so leading the child’s mind into believing that indeed - he is such a jerk! I have no wonder if the child grows up to be a self hating individual with very low self esteem, and a lot of hatred to the world as well.