Stop… smell the flowers and let go of your cares and troubles…
Raising children entails a lot more than just looking into their physical well-being. It is as important to be involved with their emotional and psychological barriers while they grapple with growing up pains.
About three years ago, one of my children went through a very difficult period. It concerned a relationship which was all rosy and sugary in the beginning and later turned dark and bitter.
It was not easy for my child to overcome this turbulence. I was agitated, to say the least, though I was also thankful that during the difficult process, I was never left out.
I can tell that this child has now dealt with the trauma and is happily moving on, probably taking some grains from my advice to just forgive, forget, let go and move on.
I am not so much of an emotional mom. I easily shed tears when watching romance-drama flicks, but when it comes to my children’s affairs of the heart – I try to be as objective as possible. My crying won’t help them. They come to me for strength, therefore I can’t be weak.
I just love this song. How I wish I could translate it in English.
Kwarto
Artist: Sugarfree
Album: Dramachine
Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong-puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban
Oohh… Oohh…
Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayo’y kailangan nang itapon
CHORUS
Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon
May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Na inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na tayo’y nasaktan
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Mula ngayon
Ala-ala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan-dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto’t naroon siya
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo ang aking kwarto (4x)
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo(3x)
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo ang aking kwarto
I’m still not a parent but I can understand what every parent wants or feel for their child.
I remember when I was bogged down with my private affairs; matters of the heart, Mommy was constantly there for me too and she did tell me the exact same thing, forgive, forget and move on.
Sometimes I feel that being a parent is hard but it still is a blessing.
(:
Kyels, being a parent is a 24 hour job. But don’t let that discourage you, huh! It’s a most precious blessing. Like – you wake up in the morning and know you have something, someone to live for.
All I can say is, nothing in this world we can use to repay our parents. They are windows to the bigger journey of our lives.
All I can say is, nothing in this world that we can use to repay our parents. They are windows and light to our bigger journey in life.
that’s what we moms are there for – a pillar, keeping a facade of strength, even though deep within us, we feel our kids’ pains. we cannot do everything for them, we are not to do everything for them, but they will find their way. in the process, they become stronger, to face life’s reality.
Yes, Dimaks… I feel the same way for my parents too.
Dine, you’re right. Although we must be there for them when they need us, we should not let them lean on us all the time.
Awww, makes me miss my folks. After all, I never did bring them into the relationships I had in the past, nor with the relationship I have now. Matter of fact, things are not really that great in that aspect.
Buti ka pa, tita.
Prab, hijo, I believe there should be openness between parents and children. Well, when it comes to love matters, understandable na parang awkward ba na mag share ang mga anak sa magulang. It took time for my children to open up to me about their crushes, relationships, et – , it was not spontaneous. I had to encourage them, and even urge, probe….. but in a diplomatic way. The thing, I guess, is – parents should not place themselves on a pedestal – too way above their children. Equal footing lang, ika nga – though the respect remains.
I dread that time when any of my kids would experience heartbreak of any kind.
Haven’t heard that song, but I like the lyrics.
Yes indeed, Irene. Actually, I was more heartbroken than my child was, really.
This song hit the local billboard last year. Very stirring, poignant and haunting, but no tinge of bitterness. Ang gagaling ng mga bagong musicians natin dito sa Pinas ngayon. Hope you can check out some of their songs, if you have chance.
Hi Rhodora. I came by to tag you — again — for a meme. Madali lang namang gawin .. in 10 minutes tapos na .. u dont have to write it up kung ayaw mo. Anyway, I meant to say hi, tell you to visit my site to know what do and go, but i got hit by your meme.
If only we can tell them there’s no such thing as a one and only. that the world doesn’t stop when a relationships goes awry. But no amount of telling will make them believe us. So we let them and just be there for them.
Eh kun tayo nga … eh hwag na .. baka maging nobela pa.
Anyway, enjoyed that one. Galing.
Sige, Anna, I will see what that tag is about. Then schedule my doing it.. hehehe, parang fully booked na ako, ano.
Ay, oo talaga – if we recount those heartaches, kulang ang isang blog entry. And these children now are lucky, huh. E, kung sa akin nga din noon – umiyak akong mag-isa.
nakakagulat naman.. i love this song e.
Jonell, akala mo disbanded na sila siguro dahil sa title ng blog, ano? hehehe. Thanks for dropping by!
nakakabigla lang talaga nung una.. hehehe.
the first kiss is not awkward, i promise. may part 2 kasi na bukas lalabas. see ya!
Sige Jonell, aabangan ko ang Part II!
I also love this song of Sugarfree. Actually, lahat ng songs nila magaganda at very poetic pa.
nice song! i wonder if i can find this on youtube or somewhere. thanks for sharing.
my daughter is still too young for heartbreaks, but when that time comes, i hope that i will have the same strength as yours! hey, if blogging were still alive by then, maybe i can even ask you for advice.
Hi, Kathy! Yes, it’s a beautiful song, I was looking for it on youtube so visitors here can listen to it, but it’s not available.
Anytime, Kathy – I’ll be glad to share a word or two with you. Naku, feeling ko tuloy matanda na talaga ako – giving advice on motherhood. hehehe.
I’m sure your daughter will be strong enough to face her own dilemmas, because she knows you will be there to support her.
Hi Rhodora
Sugarfree’s lead singer is the brother of one of my colleagues before. He’s nice and he wrote the song based on experience but he’s got a new gf now
well the last time I saw him, he has…hopefully they’re still together.
I had my first heartbreak when I was already an adult and I spared my parents with the details because I know I can already handle the pain. For those who experience it in their younger days, the support and understanding of the parents are really needed. Moving on is easier said than done but your child surely was able to move forward because of you
Mabuhay ka
Sometimes I think parents can’t seem to understand that they can’t be way up there all the time. Or maybe if they are trying to reach out, baka pwedeng maging more encouraging sila. Oh well, there I go again, whining about stuff.
My alter-ego: Sinasabi mo lang yung totoo, no. Kaya anu ngayon kung nag w-whine ka?
Me: Sssshhhh. Mapagkamalan akong weirdo na kausap kita.
*snaps out of it*
Where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to say that I loved this post, btw.
Verns, talaga? That guy, Sugarfree’s lead singe is truly talented!
Yes, I believe when it’s the first heartbreak at a young age, one needs some support from family. You’re lucky you were mature enough to handle it.
Thanks, Verns! You make me feel six feet taller. I’m sharing this experience as a parent, for readers to pick up a lesson or two. .
LOL! Prabs…. ganyan din ako minsan, talking to myself.
Don’t whine. If you only lived already during my time – sus! Ni hindi puwedeng manood ng sine kung di kasama mga siblings; hindi puwedeng makisabad sa usapan ng matatanda; hindi puwedeng mag-reason out kaya tatahimik ka na lang kahit alam mong tama ka…. and so on and on. hehe. I survived, anyway.
Thanks, Prab….
Having two children myself I now what you mean. Sometimes I wish they stay that age (1 &5) forever but that’s so not right, is it? We have to be strong for them becuse we as parents are the only people that would really care for them unconditionally at the end of the day.
True, Pining. I always tell my children, while they have friends, it’s only their family that can really back them up all the way.
salamat sa pagbasa. ikaw lang ang nakapansin nun. galing galing!!!
I guess parents are like that. You remind me of my own. Kung pwede lang, their kids would never feel any pain. But pain is important to build character and to learn. Nonetheless, masakit nga siguro to see your child suffering in pain.
You remind me of my parents Rhodora. They hurt too when I’m hurt. But I guess pain is necessary to develop character, to grow, and to learn. Nonetheless, it must be painful to see your child hurt.
Really, Toe… I was more heartbroken than my child. And it was not just an ordinary break up thing that happened to them kaya sobrang traumatic talaga.
Jonell, siguro may fifth eye ako. hehehe. Fifth eye kasi apat na mata ko – I wear glasses.
Keep writing stories like that. Be glad to be one of your audience.
Hi Rhodora,
Good day to you!
I can very much relate to this. All we can do is be there for them through good times and bad times, through thick and thin.
What a coicidence, my daughter wrote a song titled “In The Room” after she buried herself in the room for a week or so. It is a beautiful music and one of my favorites from her repertoire.
Hi, Belle! Thank you for visiting my site. I have been to your site several times already and it’s simply beautiful.
Congratulations for having two lovely, talented and compassionate daughters. I read your daughter’s article about how she felt for the people in your hometown and I’m so touched.
Cheers!
it really happens, the good thing is that you were there when it happen to your child, and i can see that they are transparent to you when it comes to this matter and that is the most impt part of it. some children tend to hide their activities to their parents. cheer up rhodora.
it really happens, the good thing is that you were there when it happen to your child, and i can see that they are transparent to you when it comes to this matter and that is the most impt part of it. some children tend to hide their activities to their parents. cheer up rhodora.
Thank you, Cruise. It was a very dark experience for my child – not just the ordinary break up. I myself had never experienced anything like that so you can just imagine that it was traumatic for me as well.
Hi, loved your post. I’m recovering from the demise of my 9-year relationship. I thought I’d be too old for Sugarfree pero hindi pala.
I never really told my mom all about the itty-bitty and gory details because I don’t want them to worry about me.
Kaya lang, iba rin talaga ang pamamaraan ng nanay sa pagsusuporta at pag-unawa sa anak. Nagagawan talaga ng paraan kahit di namin pinag-uusapan.
Hi, midnight rainbow!
Wow! 9 years! Must have been painful, huh. Well, as for Sugarfree, nobody is too old for anything, particularly music. I love listening to music by contemporary artists – local ones include Barbie, MYMP, Kitchie Nadal, Eraserheads, Bamboo, UPDharma Down Hehehe. Nahahawa ako sa mga anak ko kasi.
Hay naku! Sabi ko nga sa isa kong post dito, “There is nothing that a mom cannot understand about her child.”
Thanks for dropping by!