(Digital painting by Marco)
While blog surfing, I came across Housebandoo’s blog at AnnaManila’s site. I was so touched by this entry, and instantly recalled the usual nights of snuggling with my husband, in which I would kid him -”What if I die ahead of you?” Then our conversation would divert to death and on what each one of us must do in such eventuality. I know this may sound morbid to some of you, but then, this is a reality of life that we should accept.
As I read on Housebandoo’s post, I remembered that sometime ago, while surfing the net again, I bumped into this literary site featuring American poets. And to my delight, one of those featured is Christina Rossetti, an all time favorite of mine. I left the following comment, and if you take note of the date, this comment was posted before I actually started blogging.
Comment 6 of 8, added on September 11th, 2005 at 7:40 AM.
this poem is very memorable. i was a literature teacher years back, and we discussed this in class. it is actually classified as a song, and i took the liberty of putting some melody into it, and after we discussed it in class, i enjoined everyone to sing it. it was beautiful! until now, this poem occasionally creeps into my mind and when it does, i sing it to myself… as i still know every word by heart. when i die, i would like this poem to be sung (not recited) in my necro service. and like christina, i want no roses or trees on my grave… for what use..? i can’t smell the fragrance of the flowers anyway, nor will i have need for a shade… all the love and affection, and joys i want and need - i try to get from this life… for when i shut my eyes forever - my world is ended.
rhodora from Philippines
Here goes the poem:
When I am dead my dearest
by Christina Rossetti
When I am dead, my dearest;
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.
I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not see the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming of the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.
Will you cry when I die? I asked my husband and cuddled closer to him. Will you miss me? Will you still sleep in this bed? Will you marry again?
He stroked my hair, looked at me and asked me the same questions.
Oh , Rhodora. That was one of my fave poems way back when. I still can recite it from memory — parts of it anyway. If thou wll remember .. if thou will forget. Oooh. Ang sweet nyo naman ng sweetheart mo. May the spark burn on! All best, my friend!
sparks memories of my youth…when i first read that poem, i could not help but read it again and again…so musical, so innocent. hey, look up for EE Cummins, i like his poems!
Very touching, indeed. To date, I still find myself unable to aticulate the right words in such matters.
Is that digital painting created by our rocker son? Very nice!
Anna, pareho tayo. However I don’t recite it, I sing it. LOL! I made some musical adaptation myself.. as if!
Yes, Dine. Actually it is classified as a song, hence the musical flow of the words. Yes, I’ll do that - check out EE Cummins. Oh, how I love poetry, but poetry doesn’t like me. I can’t write a single verse! LOL
Eric, I was so touched by HB’s story so I was inspired to write this entry. Sometimes we evade topics on our own mortality, di ba? Like we don’t want to entertain the thought of - “paano kung namatay ako?” But that is reality we can’t avoid as death is part of life.
Yes, the digi painting is rocker son’s. Thanks, glad you like it!
Very touching post indeed. Yes, i noticed that talks of death seems to be still a taboo for Filipinos, which somehow makes it hard for people to let go when someone dies.
Wow! Your son is some digital artist. Neat work!
Yes, you’re right, Ferdz. Somehow, we always try to evade this topic, though it is as natural as breathing itself.
Thanks! He is a web designer actually. Funny thing is - he is a Psyc/Poli Sci major - very far from his present career path. And he studied graphic arts by himself. I guess when you have real interest in something, learning is vey easy.
This is one of the most endearing poem for me too but as years went by, nakalimutan ko na pati ang author. It’;s good that you blog about this that now, I am refamiliarize with one of the world’s most popular poems ever.
I agree, Major Tom, along with “How Do I Love Thee”… “When I am dead my dearest” is one of the world’s most popular poems. I’m glad you liked this post…
You wioll only understand how pinful it is to be the one who is left behind when a loved one dies.
Right you are, Richmond. And I have felt that way several times, the most painful of which were brought by my sister’s and brother’s death.
That is a very lovely poem, so touching. My hubby and I sometimes talk about death and leaving the other behind. Call me mushy, but I don’t think I could bear to live without him.
oh yes, this poem and “how do i love thee”, they are classics! it’s amazing that you can openly discuss this w/ ur hubby, no fears
the digital painting is way too cool, i assume the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.
p.s.
sorry for the stupid Q, pero panggalatok ka ba?
Chateau, it can’t be helped sometimes and we need to talk about it, for we never know. At least we know what to do if ever, di ba?
Hi, Eye! Yes, we openly discuss about death, for the reason that we want to be prepared if ever, because we never know when it will come, di ba.
Yes, I’m from Pangasinan, and that makes me a Pangasinense. …
Do you, by any chance, know someone from my province?
I am quite prepared to die. Everything is written in a little book and my heirs will know exactly what they have to do…
But once you are gone you can only hope your heirs will behave and not forget you. I saw so many cases where this was not the case. But then, you are dead and it is not your problem anymore…
By the way, beautiful poem/song.
If and when I die, my ex-wife will shed tears… of joy.
Have a great weekend.
wow nagturo ka pala ng lit
nice naman 
Sidney, thanks - I’m glad you like the poem.
You are wise in putting down your wishes so your loved ones will know what to do in such eventuality. I don’t have a will, but I too am prepared to go anytime, though of course, like any individual, I still strive for self preservation. I have three kids,, you know….
Awww…Snglguy… come on….
Have a great weekend too! 
Melai, I enjoyed teaching, really! And how I wish I could go back to it but I have other priorities right now… Thanks for coming by!
rhodora,
such a beautiful poem! ang sweet n’yo naman mag asawa. unlike you, i am not comfortable talking about death with my husband but it keeps popping into my mind.
Thanks, Belle! Surprisingly, it’s a topic both hubby and I can discuss without fear, maybe because we inject some humor to it…
Have read the poem before. An affirmation of a fact of life that all things must pass. Nothing wrong with it really. Our acceptance of this reality makes us even stronger and live our life to the fullest
Only memories remain permanent in this world.
Beautiful but sad poem… it touches the heart! As for me, I am ready to die anytime. But I’m a bad person and bad persons die old. When that time comes, I know the people around me will start living!
BW, yes indeed. Acceptance is the key….
LOL ! LAR! I don’t know if you consider that a blessing or a curse!
You are kidding, of course…. or are you? hahaha!
Very, very touching post na …
Acceptance is definitely the key to everything, di ba?
(:
What a touching poem. Death is such a sad topic but it comes to all. Here’s hoping you two would be happily together in old age.
I’m not kidding! But of course, that’s only my point of view.
But I know when I die, the people around me will start smiling and living! But I really like your post. 
This post is so touching. My husband an I do talk about death once in a while. It has to be discussed since it is inevitable. most of the time, we end up joking about it.
Abaniko, death is the surest thing to happen to anyone. Thanks for wishing me and hubby well.
LAR, you sure will be missed, no matter what you are…. Thanks, glad you appreciate this post. I like your site too - wonderful photos you have there…
Leah, ganyan din kami ng husband ko, we end up joking about it. But at least, we are open to any possibility, buti na yung naka-ready, right?
I remember this poem too because this is one of my favorite poems in HS. It was taught to us by our principal and English teacher, the late Mrs. Eureka Abuan.
I remember that she was so passionate in reciting the poem in front of the class. That’s when I started liking the poem. It’s sad at the same time peaceful.
When I die I still want my friends to lay flowers in my grave though
Cheers Tita Rhodes!
Cheers, Verns! Would that we who talk openly about death, have more years to live instead… !
Kyels, sorry, wasn’t able t respond to your comment first. I got mixed up.. hehe.. Yes, indeed, we should be bold enough to accept such reality…
Are you back from your family sorties?
You know what’s weird… when my mother died… there was a time when I just couyd not cry anymore… and I was just trying let a tear stream down because I need to and it is what was expected from me by other people.
I love my mom.. and until now I still can feel how it pained me when she died. But during her funeral there was this phase or I guess stage when my eyes were just too exhausted of crying.
PS Thanks for the link. I’ll link you.
That happens, Richmond, as it is with me also. I lost a sister and a brother and I really cried my heart out then. But now, when a relative passes away, I just can’t cry anymore, though deep inside me, i mourn so much for the loss.
I’m sorry about your mom. I can see how much you miss her.
Thanks for linking me…
So touching! thanks for this post.