I AM bothered.
I am bothered that I am the central point in our family. I am bothered that my husband’s life revolves around me; that he has to consult me in everything; that he depends on me for his secretarial needs; that he doesn’t even know the medical history of each of our three kids; that he needs me to remind him of his next day’s appointments; that he relies on me even to hand his daily vitamins lest he forgets to take them.
I have, for countless times attempted to give him a briefing or a one on a one seminar if necessary just so he will learn to detach from me and be able to “button his own shirt”. But no matter how I orient him, he always gets disoriented, or maybe that he intentionally disorients himself so he can have reason to bug me over again on where his socks are; where he put down his eyeglasses; where his car keys lay, what check needs funding; ad infinitum …..
I am bothered that my children are always in need of me. “Ma, please come over here to Manila,” says Gem in her text message; “Ma, when are you coming back here to Dagupan?” asks Aypee on the phone; “Ma, I need an authenticated copy of my birth certificate,” Marco’s YM message reads.
My fault. I made them need me.
From the beginning, I took charge of everything including how their clothes should be arranged in their closets. I took too much of the responsibility of labeling the sugar, coffee and cream jars.
I’m in charge here, don’t make a mess! I don’r want my tablewares arranged another way.
I took charge.
That’s not the way to sweep the floor. Let me do it myself. The rags are in this basket; the medicines are kept in this cabinet; the shoe rack should stand in this corner; don’t make your beds, I will!; and again - ad infinitum…
My fault. Now I worry. I can’t be around forever, you know.
Oct
16
Filed under: Musings
Kaw naman. Naglalambing lang ang hubby at mga anak mo. Buti ka nga eh, yung ibang mga nanay, di na pinapansin ng mga anak. Masakit pa, pati na rin ng kani-kanilang mga asawa.
I think you’re doing a good job, Rhodora. =)
Abaniko - ganun? Ay hindi puwede sa akin yang pati mga asa-asawa ay di ako pansinin. Magkaka-giyera! hehehe.
Thank you, Houseband00.
I only want them to learn how to be on their own naman. Di na sila mga baby, ano, lalo na si hubby. Aba, I can’t make lakwatsa anymore! Unfair!
you are like my wife. she has three student kids in three different places to attend to. If i am around, she has another kid to attend to. LOL
I always wonder where mothers get their energy and how good they are at time management and the productivity thing.
Sometimes the latest technology has disadvantages too. It transmits the need (or demands) very fast wherever you are.
i think that good mothers are a the keystone in every family. if they’re not good at mothering, no one would depend on them. other family members would just find ways to cope.
naalala ko tuloy nanay ko
u know what? akala ko sa pinas lang ganyan ..yung lahat sa bahay at sa pamilya ako ng babae..ako ng nanay
ganyan din pala dito…..
Myepinoy, hmm. you made me think about the disadvantages of technology. Maybe I should discard my cellphone?
Liz, well - they should learn how to cope sooner or later. I also need a life once in a while! hehehe.
Melai, universal ang pagiging nanay. Mothers all over the globe are similar in many ways, although I should say that Pinoy moms spoil their kids more. ..
You’re right. Pinoy moms really have a tendency to be “in control” of everything. I guess it’s a stigma that will be a little difficult to shake-off, even in these times. Ganun na ata talaga ang likas sa pagiging nanay. Naku, my lolas were like that, my mom was like that, and I think in no small measure, nagiging ganyan na din ako. OMG!!
Welcome to the club, Kongkong! hehehe.
You are doing real good Rhodora, talaga! Being central all the time is not cool but I am sure you are coping well.
(:
HUGS!
i think mothers are all like that, they want their children (or their husbands) to be independent but out of habit na rin siguro, gagawin pa rin ang mga bagay-bagay para sa mga anak (pero syempre di mawawala ang pagna-nag habang ginagawa ito hehe.)
Masarap kailanganin ng pamilya, kaibigan at ng kapaligiran. Nakakapagod pero masarap. Hahanap-hanapin mo iyan kapag nawala sa iyo so bakit hindi mo na lang tingnan sa brighter side dahil kapag nakahanap na iyan nang mga tamang tao para sa kanila, sila na ang mag-aasikaso o sila ang aasikasuhin at ikaw naman ang maghahanap sa kanila. Isa sa mga hiwaga ng buhay pero masarap.
Thanks, Kyels. I’m just doing my best.
Zherwin, I know what you mean. hehehe. “Ano ba naman, ako na lang nang ako ang inaasahan dito….” pero sige pa rin sa paglilinis, pagluluto.
Enjoy naman ako LAR, sa pagsisilbi sa pamilya ko - naisip ko lang - sana makapag relax relax naman sana ako once in a while, na yun bang makapamasyal naman sana nang walang tatawag sa akin at tatanungin kung ano ang ilulutong ulam! Haaay!
Tita Rhodora is a mother who is very used in multitasking hehe
I bet nasabi niyo na minsan sa kanila yung line na “Kung pwede ko lang hatiin ang katawan ko para silbihan kayo, ginawa ko na!!” hehe just kidding 
I hope they do realize how lucky they are to have a mom like you
I’m sure they did na hehe
I agree, it is rather nice to know that you are needed. But i always tell my children that they should learn to do things for themselves.
My eldest who is 12 can cook her own food (well, usually marinated meat and fish) when she goes home from school. Usually she does not wait for us to arrive home since she arrives earlier than we do every MTW. We usually just cook ulam when we get home since she has cooked rice too. She can also wash a shirt if she needs that shirt the next day.
I don’t really want her to grow up too fast but at the same time, I don’t want the children to rely too much on me to do things for them. I do my part in the household management, they should have theirs too for them to know how things work. After all, sila din ang makikinabang nun when they grew older.
Oh! Btw, I tagged you. Take care!
Hi, Mica! Ay naku, ganyang ganyan talaga ang dialogue ko sa kanila. hehehe.
Wow, Julie, you should be commended for training your daughter to be self reliant. True, makakatulong yan ng malaki sa kanya when she grows up.
Tagged? Thanks. Will let you know once I’ve done it.
u remind me of my wife, for me she was an angel (no, she’s still alive) katulad mo rin kina-career ang pagiging-mother as if dakilang-ina. kaya lang ako parati ang nagluluto, kasi pagluto daw siya baka humantong kami sa hiwalayan.
You’ve got a nice blog and i think u r a good person and a good mother.
Ysrael, siguro mahusay kang magluto. Dito sa amin, minsan ay nagluluto din si hubby ko. Nagugustuhan naman ng mga bata ang luto niya.
Thank you for your kind words, Ysrael.
Hi Rhoda, for so long i mean to write and comment on your blog but ngayon lang ako nagka panahon..
Just want to tell you ,ganyan din hubby ko sa akin, very dependent sa lahat ng bagay. He used to cook for me before but now tinamad na rin.Guess its our own fault , we made them depend on us.
By the way, im also from pangasinan, born in Rosales kaya familiar din ako sa Dagupan.
Regards and will drop by whenever i can.
Hi, Aura!
Really, you’re from Rosales! Glad to know a fellow Pangasinense.
Yes, I so agree - we spoil them kasi, e - kaya nagiging dependent, di ba?
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