I have a revelation to make.
My husband was not my first boyfriend. Oh well - that is not surprising, I know. In fact it is as ordinary as ordinary and normal as normal - at least - based on today’s standards.
However, our case was quite different. I was currently engaged when he wooed me. My boyfriend and me that time were on a cool off period - sort of testing how the physical and geographical separation would affect our relationship.
Then I met my future husband. It was a whirlwind courtship we had. And up until now, I can’t understand what power he cast on me that made me say yes to him and break off with my then boyfriend. We met in July 1980, got engaged in November, married in civil rites in December of the same year and wed in church in March of 1981. I was literally swept off my feet and before I knew it - I was living in a new world.
Soon, the kids started coming. We got busy and both our time was completely devoted to our growing family. We had no time to regret. No time to reflect. No time even to think of personal pleasures. True, there were many instances we had fights and threatened separations. But we loved our children so and neither he nor I could bear the thought of breaking our family and consequently breaking our children’s hearts.
It’s been twenty six years. Lately, I often find my husband in a reflective mood. Sometimes he asks me questions he never asked before. And one of these is: “Do you love me?”
Do I love him?
I admit, dumping my boyfriend did not come easy. After all, we had three full years of relationship behind us. But I believed it was all God’s will. God knew that my future with my boyfriend was uncertain so He gave me the one really meant for me.
But do I love him?
“Do you love me?” he insists to know.
For my answer, click here.
To my husband: I hope this issue will now rest in peace.
Love got lovelier as hubby and I aged gracefully. Butch was not my first bf. Like you , I broke off with my bf once hubby proposed to me.
your post today is so sweet… and the videoclip says it all… almost brought me to tears… i envy your 26 years… but you know, mon and i have been married only 11 years after going steady for about 7 years in since med school, and i couldnt even remember anymore my life without him…. i dont know if it is good or bad, but i dont even want to remember how my life was anymore when he still wasnt in it… he was my only one.
…. oh, and i try to say those three words to him everyday of our married life, anywhere, anyhow… i just have to say it. sorry for being too sentimental ha…
fiddler on the roof pala ang istorya niyo.
siguro your hubby is just having some sort of mid-life crisis. whatever it is, i’m sure he’s just making lambing
btw, my dad’s’ theme song for me was also from FOTR, “Sunrise, Sunset”. I remember he had it played during my high school graduation dinner and he was teary-eyed.
me, i like..if i were a rich (wo)man..bidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidi bum…hehehe
That’s the most beautiful thing that can happen to a husband and wife, Noemi - to age gracefully together and find love stronger than ever.
It’s okay to be sentimental, Gita. I too, am an incurable “emo-fool.” hehe.
Love is shown in many different ways. Sometimes, even with silence - not saying anything - as the two of you sit together in a couch or a bench as you hold hands - is more than saying “I love you”.
I wish you and Mon more years of love-laden togetherness.
Ay, Cookie - fave ko ang Fiddler on the Roof! And the song Sunrise Sunset - I actually wished for it to be sung on our wedding, kaya lang, I couldn’t find anyone who could sing it for us. So maybe when my sons or daughter have their altar dates, I will insist that it be sung during the ceremony.
You must be your dad’s pet, huh. Lucky you!
I read this post early this morning, before the comments even started coming in. I wanted to comment but, well you know what happened to my marriage and I don’t think I have anything worthwhile to say when it comes to love and wedded bliss. But seeing others (yours for one) survive the ups and downs of married life made me think that maybe, just maybe I might try and have another shot at it…
Oh btw, I love “Fiddler…” too, but then you know that already ..
Ah, Sngl - one day - one day - SHE will come, trust me.
Yes, I know that you love “Fiddler on the roof” too.
In general it is really hard to say who you will end up to in marriage. Call it luck or destiny or whatever but this is always the case.
ang story ko medyo hawig pero meron twist. On the month of my kasal, isa isa kung na me meet (by accident) ang mga former GFs (mostly cool-off, no formal break up) ko. Imagine my situation. Parang temptation time.
At mind you meron pa itong highlight one week before the big day pero di ko na ikukuwento dito. ha ha ha.
Kaya parang totoo ang sabi ng mga matatanda na wag masyado maglalabas sa buwan ng kasal mo.
this post is very much full of thoughts.. especially when i saw the video. thanks for sharing this! from the wisdom you shared, i can perhaps say that love cannot be compared to an item in a one-stop-shop.. it is not just finding what you like in a person and live with her/him - you may also learn to accept the things you don’t like and even hate. and the most of all, it’s the right thing to do not to break the children’s hearts. they were just too innocent to bear the burden.
might as well i ask, what about the battle between 1-being right but unhappy and 2-being happy yet wrong?
Yes, Rolly - destiny is the word.
Katawa naman ang experience mo! Naku, mabuti hindi sa araw ng kasal mo mismo sila nagpakita lahat. hahaha! Nai-imagine kong pagpapawisan ka ng husto habang kinakasal pag nandun lahat mga ex mo.
You’re so right, Dimaks. Love is not an item in a one-stop shop.
As for your question: the battle between: 1-being right but unhappy and 2-being happy yet wrong?
I chose to be right and eventually became happy, I guess. I don’t think I can be happy being wrong anyway.
Hi Ms Rhoda!
I am testing the comment feature.
testing comment as an ordinary user
ah love. i saw the video and it was very funny and heart-warming at the same time. i am sure your hubby got the point. stay happy rhodora.
awww, how sweet! parang isang linggong pag-ibig (err, ilang buwang pag-ibig):) pala ang drama nyo ni Hubby. your love story more so proves that the long years of being together is never a guarantee that you will end up with the same person.
so, love mo talaga sya ha!
It is good to tell your partner regularly that you love him… even after 26 years!
As the man says says in the movie… it is nice to know!
I’m so happy that your husband and you have aged gracefully together and went through all the trials and tribulations. It is amazing to see such relationships. And having a great family is one of the greatest gift we can ask from Him.
Hi, Lawstude! Yes, I’m sure hubby got the point. Thanks.
Feng, there are even instances where a couple has been engaged for ten years, but still end up marrying another.
So, love ko ba talaga siya? After all these years - I can’t imagine anymore what life would be without him and my children.
Yes, Sidney. Somehow, the three words “I love you” have some reassuring and healing effects on the persons we love, right?
Kyels, you are so right, my dear. Having a great family is the most precious wealth one can have.
Marriage seems at times the work of destiny.
Great blog design, Rhoda. I love it!
Indeed it is, Eric.
Thanks. Glad you like my new design. hehe.
bakit kaya simpleng tanong ang hirap sagutin ano?
Hehehe. Melai, oo nga, ano. E kasi minsan, ang sagot ay kailangan pang hanapin sa kaibuturan ng puso.
Wow, i experience that too, but the the other way around my wife was the one who always ask me that question if I love her. With no apparent reason reason I replied yes, but I feel guilty everytime I said that because I really dont know what the real feeling of love, But don’t get me wrong, I really care for her in fact there is nothing in this world w/c is important to me than my wife and 2 kids. They say it was only normal for a woman to ask frequently if his man really love her, but if the man was the one asking that question..it means insecurity.
Hi, Ysrael!
I’m sure you do love your wife, but then you feel awkward to admit it, right?
Thanks for dropping by, Ysrael. I like your blog too - your entries make me laugh. hehe. But somehow, I can’t comment. I have no google account. Or, is it just the ignorant in me? LOL!
Ang sarap magbasa ng love revelations lalo na nakita ko na kayo ni Tito
magkasama